I don't know why but I have the feeling of writing blog today. I think it's because of the memories of you and us came through my mind. Maybe I still have feelings for you or maybe the person that I love the most is still you. I had to admit that I really miss you a lot and I really want to know how've you been since we stopped talking to each other.
The first memory that flashed through my mind was the first time we met. I still remembered how we met. We actually met in ECA office when you came to see Ms. D and I was somehow there. After awhile, I actually drove your car to the entrance of college but I can't remember for what reason. In the end, and if I'm not mistaken, you actually drove me to OU for something. That's what happened when we first met.
After some time, I slowly had feelings for you. And I would start asking you out to go yamcha or something, or I would surprise you by bringing your favourite stuff (takoyaki and bubble tea) to your house. But somehow, I found out you had feelings for somebody else but I didn't care and I would still go to visit you by appearing at the front of your house.
On my 18th birthday, I went out to celebrate with my college classmates. And of course, I didn't forget your birthday is the next day. So I actually bought a cake and some beers, and went to your place to celebrate your birthday with you even though I was tipsy and high. I felt grateful that Victor (my best friend) was there too. Even though was late at night, he would still drive me to your place to celebrate our birthdays together.
After all these efforts that I put in, I screwed up. I won't actually try to write about how did I screw up my chance. After the incident happened, I actually didn't tell you straight away and I used the whole week to do whatever I wanted to do for you before telling you the truth which you'll never forgive me. Finally the week ended and I had to tell you the truth, so I did. And you were pissed and upset about it. We were so closed that we almost become couple but somehow I blew the chance away.
You didn't talk to me for quite some time. But one day, you actually messaged me on Skype saying that you had forgiven me but somehow I know that's not the truth because no girls can forgive a guy for making such a mistake. Even though you did forgive me, there will still something that will always upset you.
Finally the college's Prom Night day came, and you told me you gonna have camping for the weekend and not going for the prom night. I was so upset because you put in a lot of effort as much as everyone else to make it happen. So I had thought of a good plan which is going to the campsite to pick you up and send you back to the campsite after the prom night. I actually didn't mind to do anything for you because I was going to UK and you were going to Aussie for further studies, and I wanna see you as often as possible before we head to different continents and seeing each other for a long time. I drove so much that day just for you and I didn't mind doing anything for you.
After some time studying in UK and you were in Aussie, we talked once awhile. But one day, I actually told that I fell for PH and you weren't happy when you heard that from me. But I lied to you that time which was that I told you I wouldn't confess to PH but I did. And it turned out to be awkward because I think it was just a minor crush. Then since that time, we didn't talk at all. But I didn't give up, I always go to your blog to update myself.
One day, I couldn't access to your blog anymore and I was really upset. I was trying all the way to access your blog but nothing worked. But I know that there is a way which is ask you but I didn't have the courage to do so which I don't know why. I really wanna talk to you again or start all over again as a friend.
Finally, I wanna end my story tonight by apologizing to the readers for the long post. And the most important of this post is that I wanna apologize to the person that I hurt the most, "I'm sorry, LW"...
12 years ago
